The Bubble Boy

The estimable Peggy Noonan does a delightful take on President Obama's trip to Indiana to "get out of the presidential bubble," as one reporter put it. It's an impossibility, of course: when the president travels, he takes the bubble with him. Ms. Noonan suggests that instead of traveling to Indiana in his special plane, with his entourage and his special cars, Mr. Obama should appoint a Reality Adviser. She then segues into an amusing conversation between the two--on the subject of airport security.

Actually, it's a lot easier. All Mr. Obama need do is call up the clueless John Pistole at TSA and tell him to bring a full-body scanner, a couple of overweight TSA types with their uniforms and rubber gloves, and to set up a conga line in front of Air Force One. Let Mr. Obama spread his legs, raise his arms in the worldwide posture of surrender, and expose his genitals to an anonymous technician in another room. Let him board Air Force One. Then let him get off the plane, this time opting out of the scanner and getting his gonads stroked by a surly stranger with bad breath in a private room. The whole charade would take about half an hour and cost maybe a thousand dollars--a tiny fraction of what's involved in a trip to Indiana.

If Bubble Boy did that, just once, what do you think the odds are that the scanners and the pat-downs would be standard practice for the Christmas travel season? Blue skies! -- Dan Ford