Will Vladimir be fired?

For 14 years, Donald Trump starred in a "reality" TV show in which, each week, a poor-performing apprentice lost out in a competition for a $250,000 job to promote a Trump property. The host became famous for his tag line: "You're fired!" The joke ended when we hired him as our 45th president in November 2016. I wasn't the only one to suspect that he didn't actually want the job, that his campaign was just another Trump promotion. But he won, and he won again last November, only the second US president to be elected to two non-consecutive terms. Whether he will try for a third is anyone's guess.

Like a fool, I thought Trump would do better by Ukraine than Joe Biden, whose two years of dithering sent just enough help to prevent an outright defeat but never enough to risk Russia's humiliation. Then came that appalling brawl in the Oval Office on February 28, when our president and (worse!) vice-president scolded Zelensky like a fifth-grader who'd dared talk back to Teacher. This was followed by months of pleading with Putin ("Please, Vladimir!") and preemptively ceding fresh regions of Ukraine to Russian occupation.

But now it seems that Putin has overplayed his hand. "We are going to send some weapons," Trump said. "I'm very disappointed with the conversation I had today with President Putin.... We get a lot of bullshit thrown at us by Putin.... He's very nice all the time, but it turns out to be meaningless."

Please, Donald! Fire the bastard!